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We all know that men have better judgement, and really, I don’t think anyone could argue that women should not be disciplined, they of course do. They must be set straight and in these kinds of situations a beating is the most efficient way of doing so.

We really need to understand that beatings are a last resort. If she hasn’t cooked dinner by the time you get home then give her another chance tomorrow. But if she fails again, what choice do we have? A quick beating will have the desired effect. Guys, we have a responsibility here. We can’t let them get away with such blatant disobedience.

But there are rules.

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1. Not in front of the children.

I’m not too sure about this one. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about is there? The boy will get some first hand advice on how one should beat a women and the girl will understand what to expect. So for me, this isn’t a rule that’s all that important.

2. Do not cause bleeding or bruising.

Rubber truncheons work well. You can buy them relatively cheaply here. They’re light and really minimize bruising. You can inflict a very painful beating and the next day you wouldn’t see a thing.

3. Avoid the face.

Important this one. You don’t want to spoil the goods. It’s expensive to fix faces, and if you have more than the one wife you’d need a pretty good job to support the cost of surgery if you’re a vigorous beater. Also, if the bruises are visible it could make you look like a low life coward in certain parts of the world, but don’t worry about them, they have no idea about how a man must live to please Allah.

4. Don’t break any bones.

This one’s important. You need the wife to function properly. It would be a bit counter intuitive to beat her and break her arms for not making the dinner on time. And who would do the washing? Or the cleaning? As I said, this is a crucial rule.

Now let’s go show those pesky women who’s boss.